If you’ve been on many dates, you’ve probably been sidebarred at least once. It’s an unfortunate trend that’s swept across the world of dating. Unfortunately, this is due to the advent of technology. If you’re interested and want to find out what it is, keep reading.
What Is Sidebarring?
Practically everyone has a phone these days. In fact, most of us are glued to it, constantly checking it for updates or new messages. This is what leads to sidebarring.
You may be on a perfect date, speaking to a girl you absolutely adore. You’re in the middle of telling her something when she does it: she sidebarrs you. Your night’s just been ruined and you’re stuck there with a buzzkill.
Sidebarring occurs when you’re speaking to someone and they whip out their phone mid-conversation, focusing more on it than on you. It’s a great way to ruin a mood and you’ll feel as if you’re being completely ignored.
Unfortunately, many of us have experienced sidebarring and it’s become a norm in society. In fact, you probably did it to a date as well.
Most of the time, it happens subconsciously. Your date may reach for their phone and check it because they have to keep tabs on something important. So, it’s not you. However, your date may not be interested in what you’re saying and takes out their phone when they lose focus on you.
The sad thing is, you won’t know if your date sidebarred you intentionally or not. Whatever it may have been, you will be left feeling hurt.
Phubbing is very similar to sidebarring. In fact, they’re two sides of the same coin. With sidebarring, your date uses her phone, ignoring you intentionally most of the time. This isn’t the case with phubbing as when she uses her phone, she’s ignoring you unintentionally.
Thus, phubbing is the lesser of the two evils as it’s not done to hurt you.
Although the lack of attention causes you to feel hurt, some people might get suspicious as well. When she’s on her phone throughout the night, your mind would automatically think she’s talking about you to her friends, while you’re there!
How Do You Deal With Sidebarring?
Everyone is on their phones these days. You can’t prevent someone from texting and talking to you, no matter how hard you try.
However, there are several things you can do to lessen its impact.
- One of the major ways to combat sidebarring is knowing that everyone uses their phone. Hopefully, your date wasn’t using it intentionally to hurt you. If you keep this in mind, you won’t get as hurt.
- Engaging in riveting conversation usually reduces sidebarring. Because you’re talking about something interesting, your date will want to chime in. Thus, her phone will be out of the way throughout the night.
- What are your date’s interests? If you talk about something you know she likes, the chances of her engaging in conversation without being on her phone will dramatically increase as well. Of course, she won’t sidebar you at the very beginning of the night, so get to know her then, focusing on her as the date goes on. This way, she doesn’t succumb to her phone.
- Make a no phone rule. You could tell your date how much you hate using phones on dates, asking her if it’s fine if the two of you put your phones aside. This will keep her phone away. However, this might come off as rude too. She may agree but think it’s impolite at the same time.
- Where’s the date? If you have a date in a restaurant, the two of you have to face each other and talk throughout the night. No matter how comfortable you are, this can be awkward. That’s why you need to carefully choose the spot for your date. It shouldn’t be a place that would force you two to talk the whole night. Instead, it should be fun and allow you to share a great experience like an amusement park.
Have You Sidebarred Anyone?
You may have sidebarred someone at some point as well. So, you can’t go out of your way to prevent your date from doing it as it is quite common.
If you know how rude it is, you may want to stop yourself from sidebarring a future date. This is great and there are two major things you can do:
- Be focused. If you stay focused and prevent yourself from doing it, you will be able to stop yourself when the temptation arises.
- Don’t bring your phone to the date. Without your phone, you can’t sidebar anyone.
Considering the above points, you know everything you need to do to combat the nasty trend.
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